I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
