When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
