"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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