I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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