and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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