Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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