I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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