Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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