I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
