i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize