he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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