census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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