I wannas sexs uuuuu
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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