turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
