i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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