belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
