Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
we're making bets on your personal life
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
