its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
