you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize