hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
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