Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize