My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
we're so committed to being not committed
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
