i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
