The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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