pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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