4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You work out of a Hotel?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
