i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
