People in love make me want to vomit
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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