He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
