Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
