yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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