I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
