Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
