just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
