Just fell off a train. Bad.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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