if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
