I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
