i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
