Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
