At least make sure they are 18
Why
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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