so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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