I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
