Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I seem to have left my pride at pride
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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