So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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