no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
