she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
