I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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