don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
