She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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