How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
