eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
