she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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