Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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