we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
