So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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