at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
