my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize