Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
