Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
